Groats Mad Mumblings

Today, the insurgents continue in their campaign of destructionalization by bombifying their fellow man. This surely must show that the Eraqee [sic] people have not gotten as organizationalised as the US. They have failed in their relization that in order to defeatify the enemy you MUST first producalize a deck of playing cards. Not untill you can play poker with the enemy can you really assess their abilities and these Eraqee's [sic] haven't even gotified enough cards together for a game of happy families. I may be no Mr Bun the Bakerman but I do know without a bun in the oven my head will never been seen on the Ace of Spades and if it's not their, then there will be no head banging...

Is there any point me talking about the cricket when others do it so well? No, I thought not. However, it did occur to me how odd we, as humans, must look. Not just in cricket but all sports. Now, I'm not anti-sport, in fact I'm an avid armchair sportsman, by which I mean I have the perfect physique to fit in an armchair and just the right muscular tone to press the buttons of the remote, but really, imagine being an extraterrestrial voyeur of any of our sports. How strange we must look, a crowd of 23,000 (ish) sat around watching two men spaced 22 yards apart, trying to hit a small round leather ball with a wooden bat, while the other 12 are stratigically placed around the field doing...well, nothing much for 90% of the time! The same can be said of many sports, golf, football, rugby, baseball, NFL ... the list goes on and on, so why do it? Well, I've come to two conclusions, the first is that with nothing left in the world to dominate anymore, individuals or countries (or both) can still show their domination over others by using sporting events as an arena where they can flex their muscles and secondly, it acts as a deterrent to any extraterrestrial lifeforms that may be watching. I mean, come on, anyone that see's mankind taking part in sport isn't really going to take us seriously...are they?

...this is a question that's been bugging me for some time and now I have finally succumbed to inflict my ramblings on an unsuspecting cyber audience. I've no doubt my mumblings will have people surfing away faster than Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in Point Break but hey, they say it's good to talk but then again you would wouldn't you if you were an overpayed therapist. This is me you see, nonsensical and etremely prone to taking the wierd and obscure tangent that makes even the orangest of oranges appear purple! What should you expect...overuse of the ellipsis and exclamation mark, poor spelling (which could result in expolsion from wizard school) and an unusual use of the phrase quadratic hyperventilating hermaphrodites in silk turquoise basques bathing in blancmange...enough said!!!